What Is Resistance Trying to Teach You?

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Milena (00:57): Hello everyone, and welcome to the Venusian Womb Podcast. We are so grateful to have you join us for this conversation. This is really going to be a fluid conversation about meeting resistance, meeting resistance and what that resistance looks like in the process of creation, how to be when you're confronted with resistance and also, just the ways that can call us into this course correcting and honouring of what is in this moment.

And that's actually what inspired this episode, we were trying to record another episode. We had this beautiful framework. Thank you for the masculine energy. You know, we had this framework. We knew what we were going to talk about. We had this beautiful topic. We're starting to record, and bam, a wall. And then we try to move around the wall.

And then bam, another wall. Okay, let's try to envision a door so we can go through the wall. And then bam, another fucking wall. No windows, no doors. So at this point, it's kind of one of those things of, you know, when you're in this process of flow, you're trying to drop into flow. You're really just trying to let the creative process move you and you're meeting resistance. How can we meet it with grace?

Meaghan (01:59): Yeah!

Milena (02:21): How can we honour what is in this moment of what is working, what is flowing and what is not? And also how not to let the resistance discourage you and make you fold in the creative process, because that's exactly what the ego wants to do when it feels discouraged, when it feels disempowered, and that's part of the creative process that is absolutely inevitable and will happen.

Milena (02:51): In the creative process and also in the process of life and being human. So this is really just gonna be a fluid conversation of us speaking to the resistance and I already see activation. So, Meaghan, I'm gonna leave it off to you if there's anything you wanna add.

Meaghan (03:06): Crazy how alive I am in this one. I do want to speak to somatically what happens in the body when we hit resistance, when we meet that wall. And what kind of voices you may be hearing in your head. Because let me tell you the voice, this is stupid. Why are we even doing this? I don't freaking get it. This is a waste of our time. I'm done. I'm done. And then the feeling in the body of that shutdown that I feel so much frustration, so much, there's anger. There's just like this.

Apathy of numb. No, no, it's not even numb. It's just I don't want to do this because I don't even know where I'm going with this. And I love how Milena kept giving that analogy of the wall because that's really what it feels like. Sometimes you'll catch a little you'll catch a little thread like, I know where I'm going with this and then bang. No, you don't. And it's so flippin frustrating because that's actually for me how we've started recording every single one of these episodes probably to date.

There was maybe one or two episodes that I dropped into flow right away, but everything else, felt like I was forcing. And I'm sure there's some layers of performance that come in there. There's some layers of wanting to get it right, wanting to say the right things, wanting to say the wrong things, wanting it to be a good episode, wanting to follow the framework because we have a structure that the mind wants to make it all perfect and pretty and make sense and not say anything. Don't say like too much, don't say too much. And it's so easy to get stuck in the head.

And not just drop into the body and allow whatever consciousness, whatever thread of consciousness to flow through. And that's just how we've been meeting resistance here in this podcast format. But in everything we've created to date, we have been met with resistance in some way, shape or form. Whether it's our internal resistance or somebody is mirroring something to us, we have been stopped in our tracks. And this totally comes into the law of detachment, actually, which is what we were trying to record on.

But now I see how it all connects. The resistance of wanting to control how everything is going to come and be and work out, and you can't really control anything, which is very, very frustrating when you're in the process of creation because if you have an end goal or something that you want to see manifested at the end, something tangible that you're trying to get to, if the steps that you've created to get to that end goal are not functioning in the ways that you were hoping or that you plan them to, it feels like you're just stuck. There's like this like, this crisis mode of but, but, but, but, but this is supposed to get me to this point and it's not getting me there. So then what am I supposed to do?

And the course correction can feel very defeating and just shitty because especially if you don't know what your course correcting to or you don't know which direction to take, and yeah, we've been met with that through our circles, through circles not working out in our collective. There's been some already like little roadblocks that are coming in. And there's been so many moments along the way that our egos could have been like, throw the towel, or throw the towel in. Like this is just not working. This is not for us. But this beautiful process of co-creation and of not attaching to the desired outcome, because it's really an egoic desired outcome of what you're wanting to create.

But allowing yourself to release that attachment to what you think it's gonna be and what it's meant to be, then you're gonna be able to open up and see, wait, maybe I can actually go this way, or the new ways become apparent. And that way into that is to allow yourself to feel the disappointment. Because there's gonna be a lot of flipping disappointment in the creation process, because things are not gonna go the way you want them to go.

Very, very rarely will they go the way you want them to go. And that's where the law of detachment comes in. Once you realize they're not meant to go the way you want them to go, they're meant to go the way they're meant to go, you're able to flow so much more easefully and effortlessly than trying to control the entire process.

Milena (07:13): Codes, the codes in that. Thank you. Yeah, I feel like what that's bringing up for me is there is this, there is this unintegrated masculine energy that comes up when I meet resistance of this wasn't productive. Nothing got done. We wasted time. And that

That's the one that just like, hits me, it hits me so hard, especially because it's, again, it's the it's meeting the disappointment, it's recognizing redirection, which feels like rejection, because it's like, I decided I wanted to do it this way. And this is the structure that I plan. And this is the way that I'm going to take steps forward towards that desired outcome.

And it's when you're in this resistance and meeting it somatically meeting it in the mind like it's hard to drop into flow. It's hard to there's this overthinking and mental rumination and these voices in the mind that got get very loud.

There's a perfectionist there's the critic there's the the part of me that's also trying to control the ways that my life generally and the creative process is unfolding and that's also one of the things that comes in in this law of detachment is letting go of control. It's letting go of control of what the desired outcome is and also how you are going to get there. And if we all know something is that this path of homecoming, this path of creation, this path of really evolution is something that is not linear. It's not like this.

Milena (08:59): It cycles, it spirals, it will turn in on itself and become something completely different. And that is something that is also required to happen. There is there is a an orchestration for the ways that things are unfolding as they do, and trusting that it is unfolding in that way for a purpose, even if that purpose may not be apparent to you in that present moment.

If you really truly allow yourself to hold this trust of, am going to take steps forward despite the fact that this is not something that I can predict or control. That is an incredibly powerful skill that is necessary when you are meeting resistance because otherwise it's just, there is just this fold. I fold, I give up, I drop the towel, I'm done with it. Letting these voices in the head lead. And that's been a huge part also.

I've found it very helpful to use this metaphor of these are all, all of these voices are all just parts of self. They're all just parts of self. And how can we let them all sit in this round table and honor each of these parts that are part of this creative process? Cause when we really honor all of these parts of ourselves and are able to integrate them, then the creation that comes through from that integrated space is significantly more potent. It's more relatable. It's more real.

And it's more embodied because it's more of an expression of you rather than this performativeness of, said I was going to do this today and I may not be feeling this energy, but I'm still going to show up because this is my plan. And the creation that comes from that space, it's inauthentic. It's not honoring the energy of where you're at in that moment as you're stepping into the creative process. And so it's like, how can we have these parts of self have a seat at the table?

And it's interesting because in my head I'm seeing all of these different parts of myself, my inner child. There's also the part of me that the teacher, the guide, all of these different elements. And I see the inner critic when I meet resistance, it just wants to get up on the table and just be like, you guys are all doing a bad job. You guys are all doing it wrong. This is not coming out well. This is not good crap content or quality or whatever.

Milena (11:19): And it's like, okay, how can we honour these parts of self? You know, no one's getting on the table. We're all equal and not allowing those parts to take the lead and just kind of swoop in because that that is when we find ourselves folding and that's when we give up. And it's also recognizing that those voices are also protecting us from disappointment. They're protecting us from in essence

Meaghan (11:42): Mm-hmm. Humiliation, criticism.

Milena (11:47): Humiliation, criticism, exactly, thank you. So they are these protector parts and recognizing that these protector parts, they're trying to keep you safe by also limiting exposure and limiting exposure to the discomfort of being in creation and honoring what is outside of this plan. And so yeah, that's what's coming through in this moment.

Meaghan (12:10): You activated so much within me.

Milena (12:13): I could feel it. could feel you're like, hmm, whenever you're pulsing as we're like speaking.

Meaghan (12:19): It's like an activation compared to where I was before where I was just shut down. But I really, I don't want to do this anymore. No, I want to do it now. I really want to feed off of the perfectionism, the inner critique, the folding that happens when you meet resistance. And especially because what's coming through really strong for me as you said that was the difference between guilt and shame. We talk a lot about shame.

We are often met with shame when it comes to in creation, when it comes to relationships, intimacy, really everything connection. And in the resistance that you're meeting, what determines if you push through that resistance or not is are you perceiving this as a mistake or that you are the mistake? As like, I just made a mistake. Like this is something that I could fix. This is something that I could change. I could shift out of because that's less heavy.

Because we grow through making mistakes, especially if you can get into that perception as a mistake has nothing to do with like my character, who I am, any of that. It's just something that I need to take accountability for and shift if it's making me feel icky and learn something from it. Or is that resistant pointing to something in you of like, my God, I'm bad. I did something so wrong. This is like a hit at myself, a hit at your confidence, your self esteem. And that's when you fold. That's when you stop.

That's when it becomes not possible or accessible to keep going forward because you're stuck in the shame spiral of I am inherently wrong. And then that brings us to the, don't belong either. So how could anybody want to see my creation? My creation is nothing. It dampens and puts everything down. And to me, that's a huge part of that folding, meeting the resistance of when there's a shame that comes up to, yes, go ahead, feed off of it.

Milena (14:08): I want to say there's the narrative that comes up to just add on to this is that I am incapable.

Meaghan (14:14): Yes, I am not capable. I can't do this. And that is paralyzing. Because the minute you say that to yourself, your body and what you're saying, your body's gonna start believing. It's like, well, I can't do this anymore. I guess we're done. I guess it's over. Throw it out the window. And that's so frustrating. Because chances are you were actually very close to getting somewhere.

You just got a little bit, gotta course correct, course shift, but again, if it's not going the way the ego wants it to go, we can attach to what we're wanting it to be. And then if it's shown that what we originally thought for ourselves is not how it's planning out, that can feel completely destabilizing and really hard to wanna keep pushing.

Milena (15:02): It's so interesting because I think in this process, I'm really understanding what it is to have a beginner's mind, what it is to truly stay the course of evolution, the course of learning, the course of growth. And that path, it's incredibly humbling. It's incredibly humbling in the ways that, you know, really just being open to being

Milena (15:32): Not very good at something. And for... that's... yeah.

Meaghan (15:33): Wrong. To fucking up, to making a mistake, to not getting it right, to hurting, make, yeah, to not being the perfect all the time because we're not.

Milena (15:45): Any perfectionists out here, like recovering perfectionists, because, you know, when you've been used to deriving your self-worth from how good you are at the things that you do, then this is where we start to create attachments to outcomes and attachments to things to derive our sense of worthiness and our sense of value.

And there's a huge reframe that happens in these moments of defeat, of perceived defeat and perceived failure and mistakes, where, you know, we are confronted with that. We're confronted with what does this mean about me? And how can I move forward from this and feeling this disappointment? And that it takes that it takes those moments where you're humbled so deeply of, okay, I am not very good at this.

This is something new. This is the unknown. How could I possibly expect myself to be perfect at something that I'm doing for the first time or the first few times? And there's a lot of grace that you learn to develop with yourself is to have compassion for your process of learning, to recognize that there are certain things that you may pick up like this.

And there's others where it's going to require more of your devotion, more of your time, more of your practice and dedication. And it doesn't mean that it's not possible for you to develop and to learn and grow that skill or whatever it is that you're creating. But it's really just honouring your rhythm, your learning style, and your process as well in all of that.

You know, we definitely need to have the contrast in order for us to step more into our light and in order for us to step more into our power. And this whole process of meeting resistance is a huge initiation to step into your power in the creative process. And a huge part of that, and this is where I love accessing this space, this inner space of openness and beginner's mind through the inner child. Because when you're a child, you're learning a new skill for the first time.

You don't tell a child that's doing a bad job at learning something. That's horrible. You're horrible. Don't do that. You don't even know what you're doing. No, we encourage them. We give them words of affirmation. We are more patient and we may sit with them and explain it to them in a much more simpler way. Right? And it's just, I like to use this thing of keep it simple, silly, you know, try to, how can we simplify this big thing that has so much resistance and has this cloud of overcastness and ...

Milena (18:33): And heaviness, how can we make it silly? How can we maybe bring more of our inner child to play and rather than focusing less on the outcome, how can we enjoy a bit more of the journey of learning? And, you know, it's so much more rewarding also when we are able to develop from a place of, of, of dedication, true dedication and meeting resistance and moving through it.

And it builds this resilience, so that the next time you meet resistance in your life, which you will, which we all will because it's inevitable, you won't fold. And there will be a lot more self-trust that's built when you really commit to this process of learning and meeting resistance and continuing to move forward and failing and redirecting from that failure and really perceiving, having these mental reframes to perceive these failures as

Also data, what are we learning? This is all a continuous learning process and all of this is supporting that growth. And that's something that is incredibly humbling for the ego. Your soul already knows. Your soul already knows that everything that you need, everything that you want to do, all of those dreams, all of those desires that live within you, you are completely 100 % capable of it. That capacity, if you're feeling this within you, that capacity is already there. It's just a matter of getting your ego on board to something that your soul already knows. And that's a huge part is how can you be an ally to your ego? Because know that within your ego, there is also these darkness. There's this darkness, there's these shadows, there's these voices, there's you know, this part of us that wants to bring us down to protect us because ultimately the ego is not innately good, it's not innately bad, it simply is.

And it has both light and darkness. You know, there's conscious and unconscious patterns that we are living in our life. Mostly, we're mostly being programmed by our subconscious and most of how we live and operate in the world, most of our thoughts come from our subconscious. So there is a huge integration, I think of

Recognizing what are these parts in ourselves, how can we bring more awareness to them, loving awareness, not needing to change or fix them, collecting data. And from that, how can we step more into this beginner's mind, into having this openness, into incorporating more play in the process. And also, as we've been speaking to this law of detachment, detaching from the ego, detaching from these narratives and doesn't mean they're not going to come up. They're going to be there because we're human. And it's not about transcending the ego because the ego does play a big role in this existence, like in this human existence. does keep us safe in many ways, despite the fact that it can be incredibly annoying in so many other ways.

It does have value and it's really a matter of how can we judge ourselves a lot less in the process and make the process mean less about us as humans and like, like of your own worth and capacity and how can we make it just inform the next steps that we're taking as we continue to move forward?

Meaghan (22:05): And I do want to speak to add a bit, bring in the resistance a little bit more. Because as you're creating something, as you're dreaming something, it is really hard to like, separate you from your creation. Which makes sense why when you fail, when it doesn't go to plan, when it doesn't work out, it is a big hit to self because it's coming from you. And within that process of creating something, you're creating something, but you're also being recreated in the process.

Because for you to be birthing what you're dreaming of, there's a new version of you that's being rebuilt and or destroyed and recreated every step of the way. And that's also a very humbling experience because who you are when you dreamt or had an idea of something is not gonna be the same person of who you are when that idea is manifested in tangible and actually here in the real world. So that's something really important to keep in mind through when you hit resistance that if you're hitting resistance, it might be because there's a part of you too that needs to die, that needs to be shifted, that needs to be recreated to hold more capacity, to hold more space for the version of you that can hold and can be with the creation that you are bringing forth into reality. ⁓ There were so many little things that came up while you were talking. That's the only one I can remember right now. But yes, know that there is this process of creating something that you're creating, but you're also being recreated in the process.

Milena (23:22): Yeah, and I just want to speak to a little bit more to the ego, because the ego will attach to the creation. The ego will make the creation mean, it's mine. It's my baby. It's a reflection of me. And so when we create that attachment to this dream or to this creation or to this outcome, then ...

Meaghan (23:43): Mine. My baby.

Milena (24:00): You know, we're really setting ourselves up for disappointment because the truth is and and you know failure because that's that's an inevitable part of this process and that's why you know oftentimes many people will will give up will give up you know so it's and that's exactly why we created this because the creative process is not sunshine and rainbows it's really a process that like Meaghan said you're ...

Meaghan (24:05): And failure. And failure. Hehehe

Milena (24:28): The creator and you're also being created. It's you who are actively embodied in the creative process. And so you are being shifted as a human being, the way you show up, the way you speak, the way you create, the way you course correct when things are in flowing, when you find yourself forcing all of these ways or the ways that the creative process is teaching you, shifting you, is showing you a new way of being.

Because creation, a big part of creation, which we will definitely have another episode that we will go into much more detail about the masculine and feminine energy, yin and yang, but a big part of creation is through being. And so, you know, when we allow ourselves to really be in the process and we start noticing that this process again is shifting us and how can we let this process move through us rather than us trying to impose our will.

Milena (25:27): On the way that the process of creation is unfolding. And so again, it's not practicing this law of detachment from the creation, from the outcome, from the ego's predicted timeline of how this is going to unfold. And the ego also tries to predict to create more safety. It's trying to have more known variables within this unknown mystery of bringing creation into form.

And that's completely unknown. It's a mystery. It's not meant to be understood because that's also part of testing faith in what you believe in and what you're bringing forward. And a big part of that's been super humbling of Venusian womb because Venusian womb is my it's I call it my baby and I know I shouldn't but I do because it is it's been birthed through both me and Meaghan and our co-creation and ...

Milena (26:24): It's been a really humbling process of feeling so, so deeply for something and also equally, equally letting it go and knowing that it is not mine and knowing that it's not mine to possess, to control, to impose my will on. And that has been super, super humbling of allowing the creative process to inform itself.

Without my ego and my perception and where I wanted to go and what I desire and all of these more self-centred and selfish intentions, which again, we're human, we're allowed to have those desires, and it's beautiful to be able to honour them. But again, like in the creative process, it's something greater than you. So there is also this letting go and allowing whatever is greater, these higher forces to also be part of it.

It's like, you create this thing out in the world, it's now manifested in physical form, now you have to take a step back.

You got to detach and let it be, let it be and let it unfold as it's meant to. And to create from the space of non-attachment is a completely new way of being. It's a new way of creating physical, tangible things, whether it's a project, it's a business, it's an idea, or just creating your life. There is this, there is this way of, and this is the feminine way, right?

It's this very more open, surrendered, fluid, and receptive way of being. And there's so much value to those skills in the process of creation. Oftentimes, you know, we're really fixated on the masculine and the structure and what's the formulas and the frameworks and we lose sight of the fact that this creative process is going to call you into a completely new way of operating and being in the world.

Meaghan (28:24): And that just speak so directly to excuse me, embodying the process, versus being in the head with the process. And that this is like, I want to speak to it, but it's hard to speak to you because there's not really words for it, because it really is an embodiment. And when you're meeting resistance, that's forcing your will onto something

Like an example, when we try to record episodes and it's just not happening, it's just not flowing, we're in our heads, we're trying to make sense of it, we're trying to make it work, we're trying to like find the structure that we need to say this and then we need to say this and then this needs to happen. But sometimes it's just not gonna happen that way. But when you really come back to the body, into your embodiment, into the wisdom, because there's a huge difference between knowledge and wisdom, when I'm speaking from knowledge, I meet a lot more resistance.

Because I feel like there needs to be, it needs to be in a certain sequence. It needs to be said perfectly. There's an order to it. But when I speak from my body, when I speak from an embodied space, I'm not even thinking. There's no thoughts in my head. It's just coming from my soul. It's just coming from my experience. It's coming from what I know to be true, what I've lived. It's such a different frequency, such a different space that the words and what we're speaking about is coming from.

So knowledge is really important to become wisdom. But in this process of creation, and we're using the word creation a lot, but I really want to speak to creation can be anything. It can be creating your life, it could be creating like a podcast, it could be doing art, it could be creating a new way of a new framework, a new structure. Creation can take so many different forms.

And my fear is that people are gonna be like, well, I'm not creative or I'm not making a podcast or I'm not doing anything artistic. It doesn't have to be artistic. It's just creating something new, bringing something new into the world that was not yet here before. And in that process, there is going to be a lot of embodiment is just, again, becoming the person that is capable of holding said creation. And that's not gonna come from the head.

That's not gonna come from the thoughts, the frameworks, the structures. Those are gonna be really helpful to bring it into reality. But if you attach yourself to all of that, the embodiment has a much harder time being expressed, being felt, being witnessed and experienced because it's not something that comes from the head. It's something comes from doing, being, and then being like, ⁓ I did that. this is now part of my body, my experience, and I actually have wisdom to share from doing it, not just, well, I think this is how it should be done. And this is this is it. It's a big, big, big difference.

And I also want to loop back to this process of creation, which Milena, I don't remember. She said it a while ago and she's been saying it. But I want to start bringing it into our podcast because we're going to be talking about it a lot is this process of creation is an incubation period. Think of you're literally in this little incubation chamber being gestated like there's your like it's like the womb.

The creation process is being in the womb. You're being recreated and reformed. it comes back to this whole law of gestation that is this season one of we are being reformed, recreated, destroyed, transmuted. And in all of that, as we are humans, as we have egos, we are experiencing a range of feelings and emotions and sensations that we need to meet.

Because the more you resist, because through this process you are going to meet so many parts of yourself, so many feelings, so many foreign feelings and sensations that you may have never experienced before, or that may be very familiar to you because they're triggering old wounds or very core wounds that you avoid and you don't want to avoid at all costs. But this process, as you are creating, it's a mirror. It's a mirror. You can't hide. You can't hide from what's coming up.

Meaghan (32:33): That's when you're going to fold. That's when you're going to hollow. What's the word? Run away. You're going to wallow in the disappointment, the sadness, the grief, the anger, the frustration, the why me? Like, why isn't this just working for me? Because of that attachment to the outcome. But when you allow yourself to meet those parts, to meet the feelings, to meet all of it in that meeting of yourself, that compassion, that grace, that love that's extended to these parts of you.

You are then creating so much more expansion in your body, so much more capacity to hold, to be and to be like, there we go. This is how I do it. And it really is as simple as meeting those parts. And you're probably like, well, how do you meet those parts? You feel it, you sit with it. You don't pretend it's not there because when you do that, you're staying stuck in a loop of never-ending. Well, this is where we're stuck.

And you can be there. You can be in that loop of trying to bring a creation forward, again, whatever that looks like, trying to bring something new into your life, into your own embodiment, how you show up. Again, we're also recreating ourselves. Like we are continuously going through cycles of death and rebirth, death and rebirth, death and rebirth, reinventing ourselves, refining the way that we show up. Like this is also a level of self-mastery that is happening in this human experience, especially when you're living from a more conscious place of everything can be a way for me to meet myself deeper. Every experience, every person, every internal sensation, emotions, these are all, they're all collecting data.

Like it's always that we can meet ourselves and be able to understand our inner world a lot deeper. And when we're able to have this awareness of ourselves, we're able to also integrate, like integrate all of these parts of ourselves, meet it, like Meaghan said, and I think sometimes there is this talking about resistance, there's this resistance of, what does it mean to come down from my head into my heart, like into my body, into this embodiment, into this being? And listen, that was super foreign for me.

Like as a girlie, I was like the best cattle in the barn. Of society, like a good girl, followed the rules. I was like, absolutely head down, did what I was told, showed up, was a great student, had great marks, got all my validation and self-worth from that. And it was such an interesting process, I think, because within that, like within that process of meeting myself after, after coming out of that.

Milena (35:20): I had to really sit with all of those parts of me of how was I allowing these things external to myself to define who I am internally and what I'm capable of. And there were so many limitations, self-imposed limitations that came from that place, that came from that attachment so, so deeply to something external from myself and to making that mean something about me.

And that's a big part of this process is recognizing that. And this is where this whole creative process and entrepreneurship path has been the greatest catalyst for my own awakening and for my own personal spiritual evolution and journey. Because of the fact that every single resistance is a mirror for me to meet myself every time. And it's been confronting.

And it's been incredibly heavy to sit with the emotions that are coming up of not feeling enough, of not feeling capable, of having voices of other people, other people in my life that don't understand. They don't have this inner clarity and vision and calling. So they're not connected to the creative process in the ways that I am and Meaghan is. So for them, from the outside looking in, there's all of this confusion, this doubt, this, why are you doing this?

And that's a thing is that's not meant for anyone else to understand except for you. And every moment, every moment that you meet, you're confronted with this resistance internally, externally, whatever it is, you are refining your why you are refining why you show up and what this means to you. And that is going to bring this level of inner resilience and trust that is unwavering.

And that is exactly conviction, this conviction. And it's not a conviction because if I trust and feel enough and if I pray enough or if I manifest enough, then it's gonna happen. It's not a conviction of all of the things that I do for it to happen. It's a conviction of this will happen because I am allowing myself to be evolved and to be shaped by this process. And because I am witnessing my own growth and my own change and my own evolution.

That is why it's going to happen. Because I am learning. And your creation will go as far as you allow yourself to be created. I said what I said and I will die on that hill. Your creation will go as far as you allow yourself to be created. And the moment that you fold and the moment that you run away from yourself, then your creation is going to be stuck. It's going to stay stagnant. And it can loop in that.

You know what I mean? Like there are some people where they start one creative process, they meet the resistance, they feel that confrontation internally, externally. Usually it's both because they're mirroring as within, so without it's all mirroring the same energy. But it's like, OK, some people get stuck in that. They drop the creation. OK, now it shows up in the next creative loop and then more resistance. Drop that creation. Next creative loop. Like this is truly something.

And again, we are creating in every single moment of our lives, whether we believe it or not. Creation exists in the expression of all life around us is creation energy. It was created and it is being created. We are creating it. We are co-creating with everything. We are all interconnected. And this is also where we are all in connected in this creative process because we are all expressions of creation. And I know that this can be a little bit, Milena, this is super intangible. What are we talking about?

But I just want to hone in on the fact that creation is something that we are doing in every single moment that we are breathing and alive. That we are human. And so these are things that in this human experience, we are being created and we are creators. And that knowing, that awareness is huge because it's a way of moving through life. And also an awareness of I'm either going to confront this in this cycle right now, or we're going to meet it the second time around or the third time around or the and that pattern, it will show up in different ways. But it will always be showing up and showing you the same resistance and the only way through the resistance.

Sorry, the only way to get past the resistance is to go through it. There is no going around it. There is no bypassing. There is no transcending. I've tried. It's impossible. I wish I could tell you that there is a way, but the only way is through.

Meaghan (39:38): I really want to add on to that as to why we created the collective. Because doing this alone is hard. Meeting the resistance by yourself is so much more collapsing and it's so much easier to fold. Like when I tell you, I've had my own business, my somatic sexology coaching for the past four years, I meet resistance often there and it takes me out for a month or two sometimes.

When I meet my resistance in Venusian Moon because I have Milena here with me, because I don't want to disappoint her, more than I don't want to disappoint me. That's definitely a thing here. I mean, it doesn't have to be in the collective, but having someone to be accountable to in the process as well, to show up in integrity with who you say you are, what it is you want to be doing, it supports the process. Knowing that I have her as a mirror as well as have Venusian Womb as A mirror there's this desire to want to show up even more and know that I'm not doing it alone.

Seeing that, she's also meeting her own resistance in her own way. A lot of the times it mirrors each other and we're back and forth with, oh my God, you're going through that too? Me too, crazy. Which also gives us more faith in the process because of what it's unearthing in us that is often very, very similar. We can be like, oh wow, okay, so because we did this or because we're working on this, this is what it's illuminating within us. This is what it's bringing up within us. Okay, what does that mean about us? What is that like? What's it triggering? What's it activating within us? How do we wanna move with this? How can we meet it more deeply together?

Because if I did it alone, let me tell you, I would fold much more freaking easily. Like if I was doing this podcast by myself and I met the resistance, I would never film a freaking episode because I would have given up so long ago because it just would not have flowed and I would have kept getting frustrated and I would have been like, I can't do this. I'm incapable, I can't do this. But having somebody else there to be like, okay, what are you meeting right now?

Milena (41:39): I would have given up.

Meaghan (41:54): What's the resistance? Instead of like, yeah, you're right, Meaghan, you're not getting it. This is just clearly not happening. Maybe you can't podcast, maybe you can't talk. We'll sit and be like, okay, what's being met? And we'll meet it together. So our collective is a space to, yes, we wanna dream with you, we wanna support the dreams, but we want to support the shit as well. Because there is as much shit as there is light. And having a group of women, of people to see you, meet you, hold you, and empower you to do that, it's gonna make it feel so much more easeful and possible.

And you will feel like, wait, and let me tell you, when you pass the resistance, that moving through failure, or moving through the mistakes or the whatever, or the messes you're making and coming out on the other side, the feeling of, ⁓ damn, I am capable becomes strong. And the more you do it, the more you have evidence of, wait, I am capable, I've done this before. I've met this resistance before, not in this colour, not in this shape, this texture, but I have met resistance before and I have moved through it.

Therefore, I can do it again. And that's what our collective is there for, for you to dream big, for you to go deeply, to feel into it and also to meet the resistance with others who are doing the same, to not feel like you're alone and to have people hold your hand while you do it.

Milena (43:13): The collective is an incubator. It is a womb space and it will hold you. It will hold you in the process of you being created as you are exactly. And that's the biggest part of this. Like for all of the black sheep, lone wolf, know, people that have tried to do it all themselves.

Meaghan (43:22): And she will give you as much as you give to her.

Milena (43:39): Especially living in this world that we live in right now, where their connection is foreign, connection can feel unsafe, connection can feel confronting. And that has been a huge reframe for me of connection, because I can tell you this right now, I would not be here if I was not doing this.

With Meaghan in a way that is so deeply connected. And that's the beauty of being able to create and to be created with people. Like, you know, when we're talking about the collective, we're again, we're helping, we're helping you step into this creation of like stepping into this creator essence and recognizing the process of co-creating. It's an incubator to hold you as you're being created. And the beauty of it is that as people are sharing what the creative process, like how that's moving them, how that's, what that's bringing up for them, what's surfacing, that they're all holding a mirror for all of these parts of you.

Thank God for these circles when we started this work, because those circles helped me meet myself, truly. I could meet myself in every single woman that shared about their expression and what they were moving through in that moment. And in being in these spaces where these women are mirrors for me, and not everything resonates as truth, but there are definitely some things that I'm like, whoa, that you, you don't even know what you did, but you spoke those words to my soul. And like, that was exactly what I needed to hear. Because this now I have this awareness of myself.

And I recognize it, there's a resonance in my body of that, that's true, there's truth in that. And I'm so grateful because there are spaces within myself that I don't even know if I would have chosen to access unless the doorway was opened by someone else that was sharing about their experience. I'm like, oof, that was like deep in the subconscious. Like I didn't even realize that that was there and I don't even think I would have wanted to access that myself.

And trusting, trusting that, you know, what's being mirrored in your life and in these spaces, that's why they're so powerful. That's why they're so powerful because they amplify more awareness of yourself through others, through the other. We are all walking each other home. And that has been a complete reframe of how I operate in life, of being lone wolf to understanding that it's so hard to walk this path alone, especially when you hold this vision that other people don't see, especially before the vision is manifested before that potentiality is actually here. That moment, that liminal space of creation, that is one of the hardest and it's one of the most confronting. having someone hold your hand, having someone remind you of your power because your power, you will feel disempowered in so many moments of the creative process.

That's been ultimately how Meaghan and I have even gotten to the place that we are right now. And we've finally reached this place. And I'm sure we'll come back to this. There's a spiral. But in this moment of space time, we have both reached this space of the creative process of I am in it. Like I am in this.

Meaghan (47:09): Do your worst. Do your worst.

Milena (47:11): Do your worst, like whatever is required of me in this process of creation, I surrender to it and I accept it. And while it may be confronting, I know that I can meet that darkness or discomfort. And if I feel I can't, I know that I can have people that can hold me in that and can support me in that. it doesn't, I don't feel like I'm alone.

So I don't feel like I have to confront all of this heaviness and all of these feelings and all of these fears by myself. And sometimes, it's the hardest to give ourselves love and be kind to ourselves. It can be our worst critics, and to have someone that can hold that loving space for you and show you that even in those moments where you're meeting these parts of yourself that are really hard to, wow, this is how I've operated. This is how I've lived. These are the things that I've done.

All of that, having someone meet you with love, when you can't meet yourself there, that is one of the most healing and most intimate ways that we can be in connection, is truly seeing ourselves for our humanity, seeing ourselves for our truth. And this is something that is not isolated to me and Meaghan. This is not something that is isolated to the process of creating a business or podcast.

It's just part of being human. Like we're really just speaking to this human experience and to what it is to move through life in a way that where you feel like you are actively creating what you are experiencing in your internal and external world and honouring what's within you that is just edging to come out and trusting and surrendering and also having support.

And I guarantee you that when we are connected, and we are really, truly, vulnerably relating and honouring ourselves in that process, you can come out of this process created, having been created. And you'll notice, you'll notice who you were when you started and who you are in this moment and who you will continue to become because it never stops. You're always being created in every moment and having those connections.

There is a level of closeness when you meet people in that depth and in that space, that it's, I don't need to know any of your ego stories and what you've accomplished and what you've done. And it's like, absolutely, we are going to get there. I would love to know that. But when you're connecting to someone from a space that's so honest and vulnerable and open, that brings a level of intimacy and closeness and connection that it's so pure. There is no performative. There is no mask.

It's innocent, and it's just, it's such a, yeah, it's such a human way of connecting. And I really do. I hadn't experienced that. I hadn't truly experienced that level of connection.

Until very recently, as an adult. And that's me being completely honest, where I feel like I can be myself and not have to hold these masks up, not have to perform, not have to be a chameleon and make myself mould into the spaces and the people that I'm talking to. And that there is a level of liberation to be witnessed as your full self in your messy, in the darkness, in the resistance, in your light, in your gifts, in your power, in the moments you feel disempowered in your full spectrum.

And the more that you allow yourself to honour and integrate all of these parts that are going to be activated in the creative process, all of them, all the full spectrum, you'll experience emotions you've never experienced before. And you're like, what is this? Right? Like that, when you let yourself be in that, you're also giving everyone around you permission to do the same. And this is, again, this is a new way.

This is a new way of being, a new way of creating, a new way of connecting.

Yeah, celebrating, supporting, holding, witnessing, being with that, that is the essence of the collective. That is the essence of why we've created the space. Also, then we realized, and I do want to say this, we realized that we created this collective space, and we basically hosted a party, and then we sent out all the invites to the party.

And we said, Hey, everyone, here's the location. Here's the time. Here's the invite. Come to our party. And then and then that was it. And then we dropped the ball. You know why? Because we didn't teach people how to be in the party. We didn't teach them how to be in connection in this way. Again, this is a new way of being. We've had to understand how to completely redefine how we operate as humans through this process.

Meaghan (51:53): To our party! Be at this party! Wait.

Milena (52:19): And thankfully I have Meaghan, because it felt very unsettling, ungrounding and destabilizing in many moments of like, whoa, I don't know how to be, I don't know how to be this. Like, I don't know how to be in this, don't know, I don't know, this is so foreign. And again, it's like, this is a new way of being. So we recognize that we're also teaching, we're also teaching how to be in connection.

We're teaching how to co-create with others, how to support others' dreams, how to become empowered in your own by also witnessing that creation energy in others, how that activates you, and how to co-create with something greater, how to let go, how to detach. All of these things are part of how to be at this party. We're teaching how to, how are you showing up at the party? How are you connecting? What are we all here for? What are we connecting to?

Meaghan (53:12): What's the intention?

Milena (53:15): Yeah.

Meaghan (53:17): So to end on that note, we would love to thank you all for sticking around and listening to us talk about the resistance, considering this has been something very alive and present for both of us today, as we've been trying to record and yesterday in our womb circle. This was a very different format.

We don't typically lack structure in our episodes, but we hope you enjoyed it, and we do want to invite you to tune in next Friday for our next episode and to check out our website, check out what's going on, check out our blog posts, and we will see you next week.